Day Two of the Apprentice opens, as ever, with a phone call at an ungodly hour to the candidates. This time, they're told to meet Bill at the Failte Ireland HQ, where they are intoduced to Fiona Gatter (? sorry; not sure about the surname), who is the Managing Director of Unislim, and Ray McKeown, Sales and Advertising Director of Today FM. They are told to devise a one-day original slimming plan, with an eye towards the busy business professional, healthy (obviously) and original, while also creating an advertisement to be broadcast on Today FM, as well as outlining a budgetary proposal for the station, based on a figure of 10,000 Euro. They're told that Today FM is known for its fun and interactivity, so they should bear that in mind when preparing their ad.
Bill warns them that it is a huge task he is setting them, and he wants to see "effective time management as well as military style teamwork". Each team has been provided with a sound engineer and a kitchen, a professional photographer and designer, as well as 250 Euro seed money. Ciara remains with Elev8 and they pick David O'Byrne as their PM. David has just come back from the USA, and describes himself thus:
"I consider myself a strategic thinker, pretty analytical. Use that mode of thinking to get the big ideas that can help win a task."
TASK TWO, DAY ONE
On Fusion, Nagaite fights off competition from Niamh McDonald and Sarah O'Brien to become the Project Manager. After only 20 minutes though, their rival team has already divided and half of them have headed off to buy the ingredients for their menu, while Fusion remain talking and brainstorming for a further --- wait for it --- three hours! Barry, Dave Cashman, Ciara and Kieran take on the task of shopping, despite Barry's protestations that he would be better utilised working on the radio ad. David flatly turns this offer down, and off they go.
A WORD FROM BRIAN
"This is a great task. A huge amount of work to be done on this and little time. I'm glad to see David O'Byrne stepping up to the plate straight away. He came up very strongly, badly wants to do this task and prove himself. However I do question the amount of experience he has. This could cost his team badly."
"I'm really impressed with the food team. They got off the blocks very quickly this morning, got out shopping, got all their ingredients. They seem to be ticking all the boxes as regards ingredients: their fats, their carbohydrates. So I'm really impressed by them. Barry's doing a great job, seems to know what he's talking about. However I am a little worried about Ciara. She seems to be a little bit isolated, and isn't really joining in and seems not to be making her intentions heard. She seems to be isolated from the guys, they don't seem to be interacting with her, she seems to be sulking a little bit, so she needs to up her game, because the guys are really pushing ahead of her and she's not showing herself up as she should."
A WORD FROM JACKIE
"Nagaite and the team spent three hours this morning strategising, with very little action, so so much for Bill's instructions to them re a military-style time management, because there's very very little of it. Quite frankly I would have been expecting an awful lot more from them. This should be a walk in the park for those girls!"
ANOTHER WORD FROM BRIAN
"This team is broken up into two totally different types of dynamics. On one side you have Barry, he's buzzing, he's got a great team going, time management spot-on. He knows what he's doing and he's very confident in his abilities. On the other side we've David, Will, Panos and Jamie and honestly, there's more humour inside of a funeral parlour!"
As Brian mentions above, Team Elev8 have split into two, Barry taking the other three off to do the shopping, and it seems to be going well, except that Ciara is being, well, ignored for some reason. She's not looking happy, and each time she tries to contribute or make a suggestion she's blanked by Barry. On the other half of the team, David and his guys struggle with the concept of humour, as if it's something totally foreign to them. Brian's quote above is very apt indeed, and you can't see anyone liking this ad in its current form. It's also too long: the slot is 30 seconds and at the moment it's 48. The subteam are back now and helping out, but the ad is woeful. David O'Byrne doesn't seem to be able to see that though, and thinks it's funny. Well, that's ONE person who thinks that!
A THIRD WORD FROM BRIAN
"Despite the fact that David has been told that his radio script has absolutely no humour in it whatsoever, he's still stubbornly persisting with the same script. His lack of experience is really coming to bear now."
Finally, Fusion swing into action and are well into their radio ad. With the provisions bought they're trying to work in a humourous angle into the ad, and have decided to throw in a jingle. It doesn't sound too bad, but then again, if David's ad is the competition, they have already won! When Elev8 arrive at the Today FM studios to record their ad, it's still too long. David's solution: change the ad slots! Panos worries that the PM is being led by Jamie and Will, scared that if he doesn't take their advice he will end up being fired. Panos thinks David is not a strong leader, and he is most definitely right. When the "humourous" bit of the ad (which is about as funny as a mortgage demand) is threatened to be cut to make the ad fit, he fights to keep it in, unwilling to let go of his creation. He is not thinking of the good of the team and is being selfish and immature, sacrificing the possibility (however remote!) of success for personal aggrandisment.
ANOTHER WORD FROM JACKIE
"After a very slow start this morning Nagaite seems to have got her act together very well in the kitchen. She's very competent, she's very confident, the team are competent. Completely different picture from this morning where she seemed to be very hesitant, didn't seem to be very confident in the marketing brief. So I suppose she made a very good decision to send her marketing team off to do the marketing task while she's very competent in the kitchen. So that was a good decision on her behalf."
THE PHOTOGRAPHER'S VERDICT ON FUSION'S MENU
"All in all, I think they did pretty good, considering there was a time factor involved. Some of the garnishes were a bit wilted, and tired looking. I was holding back, biting my tongue all the time. I was tempted to push them out of the way and say no, this is how you want to do it."
The teams have to make up two complete sets of food, one to be tasted tomorrow by Unislim's Fiona and one to be photographed for the presentation, so they're up against it. Niamh Humphreys is delighted that everyone is working so well together, however on the boys' team things are not so congenial, and Barry's somewhat acerbic style ends up affecting Ciara to the point of tears. You can be sure THAT scene will be replayed for some weeks to come!
TASK TWO, DAY TWO
With the menus all done (for better or worse), today it's all about the radio ad and the actual presentation to Unislim and Today FM. Elev8 continue to fail to impress, having arrived with a handwritten script, on which there are many corrections, and the sound engineer, Sinead Buckey, is not impressed. The amount of changes on the script does not help either. Fusion on the other hand are getting on a lot better with their ad, including their jingle, and it seems to be working well. Keith Cunningham, their sound engineer, seems impressed, particularly with the professionalism of the girls, and the fact that the recording session took a lot less time than was booked.
VOICEOVER ARTIST'S OPINION ON FUSION'S AD
"They seemed happy with it, you know. In the studio you probably take 15 or 20 takes, chop and change with different ones, pick the best one. But no, they seemed happy with the first take."
MORE FROM BRIAN
"The pictures and the overall graphics for the presentation look really well, and I think this is probably down to Kieran's input. He's made a big difference to the team on that side of things, so I'd be hopeful for the presentation later on, because it's going to go down to the wire. Everything's been safe up to now, and they really need a good leap forward, to get more marks and try to win this task."
From this task we start to understand that one of Barry's favourite phrases is "Listen to me!" However, on this task, at least at this point, he seems to think he's the PM, rather than just the sub-PM David appointed him as, as he argues with Dave Cashman and gets hot under the collar. It will be interesting to see what his own management style is like, should he survive to lead a team in future episodes....
On Team Fusion, Niamh H, in charge of menu design, is not happy with what they have, says it lacks creativity, but is not putting forward any suggestions of her own. She will no doubt later (should they lose the task) complain that she questioned the design of the menu, and hope Bill does not ask her what she did about it!
GRAPHIC DESIGNER'S OPINION OF FUSION'S MENU/OF NIAMH HUMPHREYS
"Well, after Niamh's ideas were shut down she just seemed to slump and didn't really partake after that."
Niamh H is quickly revealing herself as someone who will complain about, fight with and question every decision, but offer no alternative, and probably rely on that opposition to the original idea when she ends up in the boardroom. Bill's not going to like finger pointing without any backup.
THE PRESENTATIONS
Elev8 are first in, with their humourless overlong ad, and in addition to Fiona and Ray there is another Ray present, well-known Irish radio and TV broadcaster and presenter, Ray Darcy. The ad is run, then Jamie presents the budget, showing the panel that they have also chopped up the ad into a ten second clip to be run in some of the radio slots. Barry then utters the quote of the series so far: "Ciara is a woman." Yeah, thanks Barry, wouldn't have known that otherwise!
The execs seem concerned that the team have not allowed any slots for the busy lunchtime radio period, but David backs this up by saying that he believes busy professionals don't listen to the radio at lunchtime. Hmm. Fiona also has some questions about their menu selection, none of them particularly complimentary. Ciara, despite being part of the presentation, doesn't get to speak a word, lending more credence to her ostracisation from the team.
Next up are the girls from Fusion, where Nagaite almost immediately makes a gaffe by referring to "Unitrim", with the CEO of Unislim sitting in front of her! Her presentation doesn't get much better, with a lot of "ahm"s and "excuse me"s, not very concise. Fusion's plan for the ad however seems to meet with approval from the Today FM boss.
TASK TWO: THE BOARDROOM, PART ONE
PRE-BOARDROOM THOUGHTS:
ELEV8
DAVID O'BYRNE:- "I think a lot of people in the house still don't know a lot about me. I think taking the PM position has allowed me to take more control, so I think that has actually helped. I felt a lot more comfortable with them over the last two days. I would consider myself creative. I think my creativity though is usually informed by research."
JAMIE (On his PM): "He's a very structured guy, he's very do this this and this. Probably lacks a bit of flair. You don't always get creativity and flair in a person."
DAVE: "Barry's a good worker. You can't take a strip off him for saying he doesn't work hard. But he can be tough, in some senses. In my opinion if we lose this task, David needs to bring back two member of his team, but I would say it will be Jamie and Will, or Panos and Will."
WILL: "I do think Dave might bring me in to the boardroom with him, but I think that would be a mistake on his part."
KIERAN: "I can't see how Dave would possibly bring me back into the boardroom. If he does, he'll get crucified. I will kill him and send him home."
BARRY: "Maybe I am difficult to work with, maybe I am. But when someone doubts, not so much your integrity, but your knowledge, that bothers me."
FUSION
NAGAITE: "I was really really happy with how the task went. I thought it was very strong, from minute one right to the end. Everybody gave 100% into this."
SARAH: "Purely based on performance in this task, definitely I think Caroline didn't input anything to it. On the first day, on the way home, Caroline said to me I've done nothing on this task: my contribution has been shit."
CAROLINE: "Sarah is very hard to work with. I find her very hard to work with."
MICHELLE: "I think if anyone tries to pull me up on something it will have to be something I genuinely didn't do correctly, and if they try to lie or try to pull me up on something that isn't true then I already have a list of things I'll be getting them back for."
INTO THE BOARDROOM
Bill tackles Elev8 first, and asks David why he put himself forward as PM. David says he is the only one in the team with a marketing background, and that he chose Barry as sub-PM due to his experience in regards to weight loss. When asked, Will supports David as the PM, and Bill turns to Barry, questioning him on his performance in the kitchen. Jamie also says David was a good PM, but puts a rider on his comment to point out that he did not like the original radio ad: it was too long, and lacking in humour.
Turning to Fusion, he gets nothing but good comments from the others as to Nagaite's leadership style, although Niamh H says her PM fell at the second fence, or on the second day. Bill is amazed that the team spent 3 hours talking at the start, and Jackie underlines this as a very bad use of their time. Back with Elev8, he's disappointed in the selection of porridge on their menu, even though Barry gives him a crafty compliment: Bill says it's not original, which it isn't. The rest of the menu --- chicken and tuna --- is as uninspiring. He turns to Brian, asking him if this menu is new and innovative, and gets the expected answer from his right-hand man. However, Fusion don't fare much better, with porridge, crackers and cottage cheese, equally boring. Bill brings into question their time management, and also says that Fiona was unimpressed with their selection.
He has better things to say about Elev8's printed menu, whereas Fusion's is little more than a blank page. This kicks off an argument between Nagaite and Niamh H, predictably, where Niamh says she was turned down for the job of designing the menu, and Nagaite says she did no such thing. She oversteps herself though when she tells Niamh to be quiet, as she's speaking, and is immediately reprimanded by Bill, who reminds her she is essentially talking to HIM, and he will make any comments like that which are needed. Totally unimpressed by the menu Fusion have made up, he crumples it in his fist and throws it in the bin.
He then reveals who is the winner. With good and bad points on each side, by both Today FM and Unislim, the eventual choice of winning team is Fusion, and so the girls win. A visit to the K Club is their prize, a fine wine-tasting laid on there for them.
TASK TWO: THE BOARDROOM, PART TWO
Bill questions the sense of blowing 75% of the budget on the Ian Dempsey show. Jamie complains that he had too much to do, and says he felt he had no help. David says he basically wrote the script for the radio ad himself, but this will probably turn out to be a poison chalice, as Jamie quickly reminds him how bad, and how overlong, the ad was. He also mentions David's intransigence in refusing to shorten the ad until he simply had to. Barry is caught out when Bill says to him "The menu. Tusa?" and Barry seems not to understand, though in fairness he probably didn't really hear what was said. Bill has used the Irish for "yourself". So he restates. "Excuse me," he says, with a knowing grin. "That's you." Barry's old Irish teacher must be spinning! Barry refuses to listen, saying he stands over the menu, which does not impress Bill. He prefers people to recognise their mistakes, not defend them.
Having listened to all he's going to, Bill asks David for his decision, and it's Will and Jamie who are to accompany him back into the boardroom. There's a disbelieving shake of the head from Will.
TASK TWO: THE BOARDROOM --- THE SHOWDOWN
Bill is already angry with the shaking hands and hugs as the survivors leave the Boardroom, which is never good news for potential firees! It's actually a bit weird the way it was orchestrated. Usually the three are picked, everyone leaves and they say goodbye outside the boardroom, then the trio come back in. This time, whether they didn't understand, got confused or misdirected I don't know, but after they've said goodbye to their mates Bill has them sit down and then sends them out anyway! So perhaps that little annoyance could have been avoided had they all just walked out in the first place?
Anyway, eventually Jamie, David and Will are back in the Boardroom, and Bill asks the PM why he has brought Will back, and David says he feels that Will contributed the least to the task. Will does not help his case by supporting his head on his hand, which Bill tells him sharply to remove, rather like later on in the UK version, where Dan is told to sit up straight. You're supposed to have respect for the boss!
Will does his best to redress the situation, saying that he was on the radio ad team, not the menu, when the latter seems to have been the bone of contention for their team. He is actually surprised that no-one from the menu team has been brought back. Jamie attacks David over his overlong and unfunny ad, and his unwillingness to agree it had to be cut short, and more, his attempts to try to modify the ad slot so that the whole ad could fit in, effectively trying to let the tail wag the dog. He tells his PM he is " a structured guy, not a creative one", and he wishes now he had not supported his bid for Project Manager.
David has a very weak defence when asked why he should not be fired, Jamie claims he is being penalised for doing too much work, and Bill reckons Will dodged the responsibility of taking the lead. Bill is incensed with the waste of money Jamie presided over, and it looks like his number may be up. But in the end, responsibility falls on the shoulders of the PM, and it's David O'Byrne who is fired.
Before the other two leave, Bill tells Will he is not impressed by talk and hand gestures, but by results. He tells Jamie that the thing that saved him was his presentation, which was very good.
AFTER THE FIRING : THE VERDICT
Bill says that David just wasn't the man for the job, Jackie agrees that he's one of those people who won't change his mind once it's made up, and that can frequently be a bad trait.
THE FIRED CANDIDATE : CLOSING MONOLOGUE
David: "Long term, I think Bill certainly made a mistake firing me. It is only week two, and I would definitely say there's people hiding in the long grass in there. I know that there are people left in the house who are weaker than me, and they're the same people who are flying under the radar at the moment, which is easy to do in bigger groups. But they'll be found out as the show progresses."
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Celtic Cubs in the jungle .... the Apprentice is back!
So once again we're back in the boardroom of Bill Cullen, our very own Siralan (!) --- yes I know he's a lord now! --- with another batch of "Ireland's best and brightest", each hoping to take the top job on offer from Bill and become his Apprentice for 2010. As usual, each candidate is carried along on the shoulders of their own personal ego and belief in themselves, though this is sure to falter once they get stuck in to the tasks and find out what they're REALLY made of!
This is the third series in the Irish equivalent of the hugely popular series "The Apprentice", first created in the USA under the watchful eye of Donald Trump, then later popularised on this side of the pond by Sir Alan Sugar, later Lord Sugar, and finally taken up by ourselves three years ago, with Renault CEO and Irish entrepreneur Bill Cullen in the driving seat (sorry!)
So who are the candidates this year? Well, as usual there's an even mix of guys'n'gals, and as usual for the first few tasks they will split along those lines, the guys choosing their team name and operating in opposition to the girls' team. Later on, as candidates fall by the wayside, the balance shifts, or just when Bill wants to "shake things up", the teams will be more mixed, but here, in the opening stages of the contest, it's the age-old battle of the sexes, as usual.
THE CANDIDATES
Dave Cashman, an Events Organiser --- Opening quote: "You can have all the pieces of paper i the world, but if you don't have a bit of streetwise inside you you're going to be left struggling". Dave has no third-level education, so his reference to "pieces of paper" above is to degrees and qualifications. He believes, to put it in the words of Donald Trump, he has "street smarts" as opposed to "book smarts".
Nagaite Farag, a Sales Agent (her first name is pronounced "nay-zhet") --- Opening quote: "I think the other candidates will see me as competition (eh, excuse me?? Obvious or what?) They will have to play their A-game to get past me."
Michelle Massey, a Corporate Sales Manager --- Opening quote: "I'm expecting to get stabbed in the back, I'm expecting to have lots of comments said behind my back, I'm expecting to get on with some of them, I'm expecting to clash with some of them."
Panos Zambetakis, a Senior Online Advertising Manager --- Opening quote: "Being a gay may in business it is difficult, but I'm not going to sit here and moan, because that's my choice. It does not define my business skills, and if people can't deal with it that's their problem, not mine."
Tara Lee, a Property Surveyor --- Opening quote: "My worst characteristics is that I talk too much, I speak before I think, and maybe that I'm too forceful sometimes."
Ciara McManus, a Sales Manager --- Opening quote: "I know I'm going to win the Apprentice this year. I've sacrificed a lot: family holidays, time with the children. There's a financial investment obviously that's been put into this,and I'm in here to win it. I'm not here to come second or third: I'm here to win the Apprentice this year."
Cahal Heapes, an Area Sales Manager --- Opening quote: "I think I work best in short sharp bursts. I like to be thrown in at the deep end and see if I can swim there."
Sarah O'Neill, a PR and Communications Manager --- "Openign quote: "At this point we're all (can't make that word out!) the competition, I think everyone is. We all definitely have our eyes on the prize and I want to be in this process to the end, I want to win."
Barry Cesar Hunt, an Entrepreneur --- Opening quote: "Today, nobody wanted to be Project Manager, and that worries me when a fella doesn't have the balls to come up and say, yeah, I'm going to be Project Manager, because we're going to win anyway!"
Niamh McDonald, a Marketing Coordinator --- Opening quote: "I think the boys should be
terrified of us! I definitely think they've underestimated us, they're overconfident, and I think they'll be in for a shock tomorrow I hope."
Caroline McHugh, a Solicitor --- Opening quote: "I think the girls need to focus on the girls and forget about what the guys are going to do. To me they're irrelevant anyway; until they start mixing up the teams I'm not going to worry about them."
Will McCreevy, a Financial Sales Manager --- Opening quote: "I think I will be perceived by the Apprentice candidates --- and I hope I will be perceived --- as a dark horse, because I will come up underneath the radar and win the Apprentice."
Kieran Walsh, a Professional Poler Player and Director of the family business --- Opening quote: "I think I've been through more, at 27, than any of the other 15 candidates will have been today. I've been through the highs and lows, the swings and roundabouts of money management. Some may perceive me as a risk taker, a gambler, but I don't think that's true. I think I have a lot of business acumen that I'm bringing to the table also."
Jamie Moran, a Contractor --- Opening quote: None (episode 1)
David O'Byrne, a Marketing Professional --- Opening quoute: None (episode 1)
Niamh Humphreys, an Account Manager --- Opening quote: None (episode 1)
Team names have to be chosen first, and the girls' team reject the name "Synergy" (which is just as well, as not only has it been used by a team in the US version before, it's currently the name of one of the teams in the UK one!) --- they think it's a madeup word. Hmm. Many business executives would disagree with you, ladies! Then they look at "Blitz", but they discard that as being too girly, or sounding like a drink or a sandwich (?)
The boys quickly settle on theirs. Having tossed about the idea of "Empire", they then move to "Accelerate", but since there are eight of them, they think the end syllable of "ate" should be depicted as the number 8, and so very quickly come up with "Elev8" (geddit?)
Back with the girls, they're still discussing names. "Infinity" is floated but rejected as being "tacky" (again, what??), then Tara Lee takes over and starts telling the team that she has picked out two names. She says she would like the name to be Irish, so has chosen "Inspiraud" (I guess that's the Irish for inspiration then) and Fusion (what's Irish about that I don't know)and this ends up being the one that they settle on.
So we have Elev8 (boys) and Fusion (girls). Now the Project Mangers have to be chosen. While on Elev8 most of the guys seem to be shying away from the task, using various excuses, on the girls' team many are putting their names forward. It's decided that Ciara will take the reins, while back with the boys there's still much arguing and excuses, till Barry steps up and says he'll do it. Dave however is not happy and forces a change, resulting in Cahal being named the PM.
Later, Cahal justifies his being more or less pushed into being PM as the fear that everyone has that to be PM on the first task risks being kicked out in the first round. Doesn't seem too bothered that he has been somewhat manouevred into the position.
TASK ONE
The teams are summoned at 0630 to the Carton Hotel in Dublin Airport, where Bill introduces the guys to Michael Kearney, CEO of the Carlton Hotel Group. He immeidately makes something of a gaffe by calling them "apprentices" --- they're not, they're candidates. Anyway, Michael sets the task, which is a simple selling task. The teams are given Carlton Hotel gift vouchers, which they must sell, each in a different location on either side of the city. However, Bill has a surprise for them right from the off, as he tells them that the PMs are to switch, so that Ciara is now leading Team Elev8, while Cahal is in charge of Fusion. As usual, Bill's right-hand-people, Jackie Lavin and Brian Purcell are there to follow each team and report on their progress.
Each team is given 200 Euro seed money and a stand in either Blanchardstown or Dundrum Shopping Centres. The new PMs make their introductions to their new teams and get to know each other, as they are now very unexpectedly working together, and this has no doubt thrown the plans of each team into total disarray.
The teams are allowed choose one denomination of voucher, to which they can append a special offer, of which there are a few different ones. Cahal is quickly "subsumed by a tsunami of girls", to quote Brian, and loses control of his team, but he chooses the cookbook, over the very forceful objections of Tara. As this decision is made, someone is heard to swear in frustration: I personally think it's Tara, but she has her back to the camera so I can't be sure. This is later remarked upon by Cahal, though again there's no definitive proof, but it seems likely.
On Team Elev8, Ciara has made a decision and gone for the free bottle of wine as her special offer. Both teams split into two, one half going to their respective shopping centres, the other subteam concentrating on trying to drive corporate sales, which, if they can swing some, should greatly boost their sales total. Elev8 end up in Dundrum Shopping Centre, while Fusion are in Blanchardstown. The corporate subteam, meanwhile, of Fusion, are in a car heading for the Blanchardstown Industrial Park. The team consists of Niamh Humphreys, Tara, Caroline and Sara, and technofear sets in right away, as no-one seems to want to be the first to make a cold call. This may seem odd, and indeed surely it is, as Niamh H was the one who, when plugging herself for PM for the task, said she led a cold call team all over Ireland! She seems to have some difficulty understanding how to use Tara's phone, which doesn't look any more complicated than any other.... In the end, rather ironically, the first one to make a call is Caroline, who has no sales experience, while the other three sales "professionals" look on.
After Michael Kearney's somewhat forgivable slip of the tongue earlier, my next pedant moment is when Caroline says "I could be underestimated for my lack of business experience, but I would probably strive on that..." It's THRIVE, love, not strive! Learn to use the language, huh?
No-one seems to think that it would be a good idea to GET OUT OF THE CAR and go knocking on doors, and the subteam remains in the cramped car, making calls and getting nowhere. Back in the centres, despite the seed money and some ideas, nothing has been spent and there is nothing to attract people to the stand, other than the guys "hooking" people themselves, which is not going swimmingly. Dave Cashman, on the corporate subteam for Elev8, thinks it might be a good idea to target local garages, see if they can partner with them, as they've had no luck with cold calling. This is not a bad idea, and works up to a point, until they have the bright idea to target .... the Renault garage. Yeah. That one. The one owned by their boss, Bill Cullen. Who OWNS A HOTEL! Great idea guys: sell the man vouchers for his competition. Great. Stunning. Innovative. Groundbreaking.
To be fair, the only one against this harebrained scheme is Kieran, but he's overruled and the guys march with ill-concelaed bravado into the heart of Bill Cullen's empire, where they are understandably given short shrift by the manager, and sent on their way.
Team Fusion are selling reasonably well at the shopping centre, while their corporate side is still stuck in the car, not a single sale or lead, with Niamh reduced to begging for sales and making a real cringeworthy moment for the series. Calling in, she's told by Cahal that she should leave it if she can get no leads and come back, however the subteam ignores that and continues, without a hint of success, to try cold calling. Cahal himself is finding it hard to sell, though his team is doing well. Finally the subteam return to the shopping centre and start doing what they should have been from the start, which is selling.
TASK ONE: THE BOARDROOM, PART ONE
Back in Bill's boardroom, the teams are grilled. Tara has harsh words for Cahal's teamleading skills on Fusion, while Niamh Humphreys's coldcalling technique is blasted by Bill. Like most right-thinking people, he can't understand why they stayed for three hours in the car and basically got nowhere, yet did not come back to the shopping centre. He takes Cahal to task on this, saying it should have been his responsibility to make sure the girls came back to help out. He agrees, but says he did tell them to come back, which he did. Tara backs up the deicison to remain the car, seeming to think that potenital, phantom sales were more worth chasing than real, physical ones.
Next to be questioned is Elev8, and Bill is straight onto the question of his garage. "Which bright spark", he asks, "thought it would be a good idea to visit MY garage?" No-one takes responsibility, and Bill is very annoyed. He owns a hotel, so could not be expected to use vouchers for the Carlton Hotel. There's no real answer, and the boys are chastened. Bill then asks about the seed money, which it seems Elev8 used to buy some balloons, whereas Fusion bought absolutely nothing. Bill is not happy.
Next are the sales figures. Fusion made 870 Euro, while Elev8 did 1650 Euro, almost twice that of their rivals, and so they win the task. Bill sorts an evening cruise and supper for them, and they leave, delighted. Fusion, on the other hand, are about to lose a member, and Bill tells them that there were about 20,000 people in their shopping centre on the day of the task, and all they sold was 870 Euro. Not good.
TASK ONE: THE BOARDROOM, PART TWO
The usual squabbles before going back into the boardroom, and Cahal reminds the girls that he had told them to come back to the shopping centre if the leads were not coming in. In the boardroom Cahal admits fearing doing things in case they didn't work out, agrees he was not strong enough, and basically carries on digging his own grave. Bill asks what the leads the subteam were supposed to have were, and when pushed Niamh H mentions Nike, but it was more a basic "might be interested", then Price Waterhouse Coopers, who were in the IFSC, an hour's drive away, on a Friday afternoon.
The fact that Cahal also failed to make a single sale serves to drive another nail into his already-prepared coffin. While the others are getting ready to hoist him into the box and slam the lid down, Niamh Mc tries to throw her PM a lifeline, telling Bill that the other girls had more or less decided that any decisions had been left up to Cahal, with the intention being to dump total responsibility on his shoulders. She also says there was some "bullying" going on, and for a woman to say that about a man (and a PM), this does not sit right with our Bill.
THUMP! THUMP! Let me out of here! Shut up, Cahal, and just lie still, will ya?
As for the subteam, Niamh H now decides to blame Tara, saying that she didn't want to go back to Blanch, when it was clearly seen on camera that SHE was the one who wanted to stay (maybe Tara did too, but the decision was not hers alone), and Caroline backs Niamh up. Tara defends her position, saying she gave "110 percent" (don't you just hate that phrase?), but Bill has had enough, and tells Cathal to pick the two who will come back with him. He choose Nianh Humphries and Tara.
TASK ONE: THE BOARDOOM --- THE SHOWDOWN
As the three wait outside to be called, Brian tells Bill "I'd worry if they were on my team. No inspiration, and in a recession..."
"Comfort zone?" asks Bill, ensuring the old catchphrase is trotted out in the first episode. Brian nods.
"Absolutely."
On their return, Niamh and Cahal turn on Tara, who in turn mentions that Niamh begged for business, which she denies, but which did happen. Tara mentions that Niamh couldn't even use the mobile phone! Niamh is taken to task for being so apparently experienced in sales, and yet not realising how pointless it was staying where they were. Cahal points out that he "requested" them to come back, Bill tells him he should have TOLD them to come back, in no uncertain terms. Tara blames Cahal for being a weak boss.
Bill agrees. He tells Cahal he didn't make any sales, nor any decsions. Cahal more or less agrees and begs for another chance. Bill has harsh words for all three of the candidates. Tara gets somewhat confused as she pleads not to be let go, and says "I'm not a team player. I am a team player." But in the end, not surprisingly, it's Cahal who gets the bullet and becomes the first one to be fired from the process. Tara is warned to learn quickly, and told that the only reason she escaped was her youth, and that she had no real guidance. He has much criticism for Niamh too, but they both live to fight another day.
AFTER THE FIRING: THE VERDICT
Bill Jackie and Brian discuss the decision. Bill says it was a tough one, but due to his lack of decisions and total non-sales, Cahal had to go. Jackie mentions that Niamh is lucky to still be here, and Bill agrees. "Very lucky", he says. "Toss of a coin."
THE FIRED CANDIDATE: CLOSING MONOLOGUE
Cahal: "It all went wrong when I was shoehorned, for want of a better word, into the task manager role. Certainly none of the guys wanted it and I think the reasons for that are blatantly obvious. To be the first guy ever to lead a female team into defeat in the first task: I'm absolutely gutted."
This is the third series in the Irish equivalent of the hugely popular series "The Apprentice", first created in the USA under the watchful eye of Donald Trump, then later popularised on this side of the pond by Sir Alan Sugar, later Lord Sugar, and finally taken up by ourselves three years ago, with Renault CEO and Irish entrepreneur Bill Cullen in the driving seat (sorry!)
So who are the candidates this year? Well, as usual there's an even mix of guys'n'gals, and as usual for the first few tasks they will split along those lines, the guys choosing their team name and operating in opposition to the girls' team. Later on, as candidates fall by the wayside, the balance shifts, or just when Bill wants to "shake things up", the teams will be more mixed, but here, in the opening stages of the contest, it's the age-old battle of the sexes, as usual.
THE CANDIDATES
Dave Cashman, an Events Organiser --- Opening quote: "You can have all the pieces of paper i the world, but if you don't have a bit of streetwise inside you you're going to be left struggling". Dave has no third-level education, so his reference to "pieces of paper" above is to degrees and qualifications. He believes, to put it in the words of Donald Trump, he has "street smarts" as opposed to "book smarts".
Nagaite Farag, a Sales Agent (her first name is pronounced "nay-zhet") --- Opening quote: "I think the other candidates will see me as competition (eh, excuse me?? Obvious or what?) They will have to play their A-game to get past me."
Michelle Massey, a Corporate Sales Manager --- Opening quote: "I'm expecting to get stabbed in the back, I'm expecting to have lots of comments said behind my back, I'm expecting to get on with some of them, I'm expecting to clash with some of them."
Panos Zambetakis, a Senior Online Advertising Manager --- Opening quote: "Being a gay may in business it is difficult, but I'm not going to sit here and moan, because that's my choice. It does not define my business skills, and if people can't deal with it that's their problem, not mine."
Tara Lee, a Property Surveyor --- Opening quote: "My worst characteristics is that I talk too much, I speak before I think, and maybe that I'm too forceful sometimes."
Ciara McManus, a Sales Manager --- Opening quote: "I know I'm going to win the Apprentice this year. I've sacrificed a lot: family holidays, time with the children. There's a financial investment obviously that's been put into this,and I'm in here to win it. I'm not here to come second or third: I'm here to win the Apprentice this year."
Cahal Heapes, an Area Sales Manager --- Opening quote: "I think I work best in short sharp bursts. I like to be thrown in at the deep end and see if I can swim there."
Sarah O'Neill, a PR and Communications Manager --- "Openign quote: "At this point we're all (can't make that word out!) the competition, I think everyone is. We all definitely have our eyes on the prize and I want to be in this process to the end, I want to win."
Barry Cesar Hunt, an Entrepreneur --- Opening quote: "Today, nobody wanted to be Project Manager, and that worries me when a fella doesn't have the balls to come up and say, yeah, I'm going to be Project Manager, because we're going to win anyway!"
Niamh McDonald, a Marketing Coordinator --- Opening quote: "I think the boys should be
terrified of us! I definitely think they've underestimated us, they're overconfident, and I think they'll be in for a shock tomorrow I hope."
Caroline McHugh, a Solicitor --- Opening quote: "I think the girls need to focus on the girls and forget about what the guys are going to do. To me they're irrelevant anyway; until they start mixing up the teams I'm not going to worry about them."
Will McCreevy, a Financial Sales Manager --- Opening quote: "I think I will be perceived by the Apprentice candidates --- and I hope I will be perceived --- as a dark horse, because I will come up underneath the radar and win the Apprentice."
Kieran Walsh, a Professional Poler Player and Director of the family business --- Opening quote: "I think I've been through more, at 27, than any of the other 15 candidates will have been today. I've been through the highs and lows, the swings and roundabouts of money management. Some may perceive me as a risk taker, a gambler, but I don't think that's true. I think I have a lot of business acumen that I'm bringing to the table also."
Jamie Moran, a Contractor --- Opening quote: None (episode 1)
David O'Byrne, a Marketing Professional --- Opening quoute: None (episode 1)
Niamh Humphreys, an Account Manager --- Opening quote: None (episode 1)
Team names have to be chosen first, and the girls' team reject the name "Synergy" (which is just as well, as not only has it been used by a team in the US version before, it's currently the name of one of the teams in the UK one!) --- they think it's a madeup word. Hmm. Many business executives would disagree with you, ladies! Then they look at "Blitz", but they discard that as being too girly, or sounding like a drink or a sandwich (?)
The boys quickly settle on theirs. Having tossed about the idea of "Empire", they then move to "Accelerate", but since there are eight of them, they think the end syllable of "ate" should be depicted as the number 8, and so very quickly come up with "Elev8" (geddit?)
Back with the girls, they're still discussing names. "Infinity" is floated but rejected as being "tacky" (again, what??), then Tara Lee takes over and starts telling the team that she has picked out two names. She says she would like the name to be Irish, so has chosen "Inspiraud" (I guess that's the Irish for inspiration then) and Fusion (what's Irish about that I don't know)and this ends up being the one that they settle on.
So we have Elev8 (boys) and Fusion (girls). Now the Project Mangers have to be chosen. While on Elev8 most of the guys seem to be shying away from the task, using various excuses, on the girls' team many are putting their names forward. It's decided that Ciara will take the reins, while back with the boys there's still much arguing and excuses, till Barry steps up and says he'll do it. Dave however is not happy and forces a change, resulting in Cahal being named the PM.
Later, Cahal justifies his being more or less pushed into being PM as the fear that everyone has that to be PM on the first task risks being kicked out in the first round. Doesn't seem too bothered that he has been somewhat manouevred into the position.
TASK ONE
The teams are summoned at 0630 to the Carton Hotel in Dublin Airport, where Bill introduces the guys to Michael Kearney, CEO of the Carlton Hotel Group. He immeidately makes something of a gaffe by calling them "apprentices" --- they're not, they're candidates. Anyway, Michael sets the task, which is a simple selling task. The teams are given Carlton Hotel gift vouchers, which they must sell, each in a different location on either side of the city. However, Bill has a surprise for them right from the off, as he tells them that the PMs are to switch, so that Ciara is now leading Team Elev8, while Cahal is in charge of Fusion. As usual, Bill's right-hand-people, Jackie Lavin and Brian Purcell are there to follow each team and report on their progress.
Each team is given 200 Euro seed money and a stand in either Blanchardstown or Dundrum Shopping Centres. The new PMs make their introductions to their new teams and get to know each other, as they are now very unexpectedly working together, and this has no doubt thrown the plans of each team into total disarray.
The teams are allowed choose one denomination of voucher, to which they can append a special offer, of which there are a few different ones. Cahal is quickly "subsumed by a tsunami of girls", to quote Brian, and loses control of his team, but he chooses the cookbook, over the very forceful objections of Tara. As this decision is made, someone is heard to swear in frustration: I personally think it's Tara, but she has her back to the camera so I can't be sure. This is later remarked upon by Cahal, though again there's no definitive proof, but it seems likely.
On Team Elev8, Ciara has made a decision and gone for the free bottle of wine as her special offer. Both teams split into two, one half going to their respective shopping centres, the other subteam concentrating on trying to drive corporate sales, which, if they can swing some, should greatly boost their sales total. Elev8 end up in Dundrum Shopping Centre, while Fusion are in Blanchardstown. The corporate subteam, meanwhile, of Fusion, are in a car heading for the Blanchardstown Industrial Park. The team consists of Niamh Humphreys, Tara, Caroline and Sara, and technofear sets in right away, as no-one seems to want to be the first to make a cold call. This may seem odd, and indeed surely it is, as Niamh H was the one who, when plugging herself for PM for the task, said she led a cold call team all over Ireland! She seems to have some difficulty understanding how to use Tara's phone, which doesn't look any more complicated than any other.... In the end, rather ironically, the first one to make a call is Caroline, who has no sales experience, while the other three sales "professionals" look on.
After Michael Kearney's somewhat forgivable slip of the tongue earlier, my next pedant moment is when Caroline says "I could be underestimated for my lack of business experience, but I would probably strive on that..." It's THRIVE, love, not strive! Learn to use the language, huh?
No-one seems to think that it would be a good idea to GET OUT OF THE CAR and go knocking on doors, and the subteam remains in the cramped car, making calls and getting nowhere. Back in the centres, despite the seed money and some ideas, nothing has been spent and there is nothing to attract people to the stand, other than the guys "hooking" people themselves, which is not going swimmingly. Dave Cashman, on the corporate subteam for Elev8, thinks it might be a good idea to target local garages, see if they can partner with them, as they've had no luck with cold calling. This is not a bad idea, and works up to a point, until they have the bright idea to target .... the Renault garage. Yeah. That one. The one owned by their boss, Bill Cullen. Who OWNS A HOTEL! Great idea guys: sell the man vouchers for his competition. Great. Stunning. Innovative. Groundbreaking.
To be fair, the only one against this harebrained scheme is Kieran, but he's overruled and the guys march with ill-concelaed bravado into the heart of Bill Cullen's empire, where they are understandably given short shrift by the manager, and sent on their way.
Team Fusion are selling reasonably well at the shopping centre, while their corporate side is still stuck in the car, not a single sale or lead, with Niamh reduced to begging for sales and making a real cringeworthy moment for the series. Calling in, she's told by Cahal that she should leave it if she can get no leads and come back, however the subteam ignores that and continues, without a hint of success, to try cold calling. Cahal himself is finding it hard to sell, though his team is doing well. Finally the subteam return to the shopping centre and start doing what they should have been from the start, which is selling.
TASK ONE: THE BOARDROOM, PART ONE
Back in Bill's boardroom, the teams are grilled. Tara has harsh words for Cahal's teamleading skills on Fusion, while Niamh Humphreys's coldcalling technique is blasted by Bill. Like most right-thinking people, he can't understand why they stayed for three hours in the car and basically got nowhere, yet did not come back to the shopping centre. He takes Cahal to task on this, saying it should have been his responsibility to make sure the girls came back to help out. He agrees, but says he did tell them to come back, which he did. Tara backs up the deicison to remain the car, seeming to think that potenital, phantom sales were more worth chasing than real, physical ones.
Next to be questioned is Elev8, and Bill is straight onto the question of his garage. "Which bright spark", he asks, "thought it would be a good idea to visit MY garage?" No-one takes responsibility, and Bill is very annoyed. He owns a hotel, so could not be expected to use vouchers for the Carlton Hotel. There's no real answer, and the boys are chastened. Bill then asks about the seed money, which it seems Elev8 used to buy some balloons, whereas Fusion bought absolutely nothing. Bill is not happy.
Next are the sales figures. Fusion made 870 Euro, while Elev8 did 1650 Euro, almost twice that of their rivals, and so they win the task. Bill sorts an evening cruise and supper for them, and they leave, delighted. Fusion, on the other hand, are about to lose a member, and Bill tells them that there were about 20,000 people in their shopping centre on the day of the task, and all they sold was 870 Euro. Not good.
TASK ONE: THE BOARDROOM, PART TWO
The usual squabbles before going back into the boardroom, and Cahal reminds the girls that he had told them to come back to the shopping centre if the leads were not coming in. In the boardroom Cahal admits fearing doing things in case they didn't work out, agrees he was not strong enough, and basically carries on digging his own grave. Bill asks what the leads the subteam were supposed to have were, and when pushed Niamh H mentions Nike, but it was more a basic "might be interested", then Price Waterhouse Coopers, who were in the IFSC, an hour's drive away, on a Friday afternoon.
The fact that Cahal also failed to make a single sale serves to drive another nail into his already-prepared coffin. While the others are getting ready to hoist him into the box and slam the lid down, Niamh Mc tries to throw her PM a lifeline, telling Bill that the other girls had more or less decided that any decisions had been left up to Cahal, with the intention being to dump total responsibility on his shoulders. She also says there was some "bullying" going on, and for a woman to say that about a man (and a PM), this does not sit right with our Bill.
THUMP! THUMP! Let me out of here! Shut up, Cahal, and just lie still, will ya?
As for the subteam, Niamh H now decides to blame Tara, saying that she didn't want to go back to Blanch, when it was clearly seen on camera that SHE was the one who wanted to stay (maybe Tara did too, but the decision was not hers alone), and Caroline backs Niamh up. Tara defends her position, saying she gave "110 percent" (don't you just hate that phrase?), but Bill has had enough, and tells Cathal to pick the two who will come back with him. He choose Nianh Humphries and Tara.
TASK ONE: THE BOARDOOM --- THE SHOWDOWN
As the three wait outside to be called, Brian tells Bill "I'd worry if they were on my team. No inspiration, and in a recession..."
"Comfort zone?" asks Bill, ensuring the old catchphrase is trotted out in the first episode. Brian nods.
"Absolutely."
On their return, Niamh and Cahal turn on Tara, who in turn mentions that Niamh begged for business, which she denies, but which did happen. Tara mentions that Niamh couldn't even use the mobile phone! Niamh is taken to task for being so apparently experienced in sales, and yet not realising how pointless it was staying where they were. Cahal points out that he "requested" them to come back, Bill tells him he should have TOLD them to come back, in no uncertain terms. Tara blames Cahal for being a weak boss.
Bill agrees. He tells Cahal he didn't make any sales, nor any decsions. Cahal more or less agrees and begs for another chance. Bill has harsh words for all three of the candidates. Tara gets somewhat confused as she pleads not to be let go, and says "I'm not a team player. I am a team player." But in the end, not surprisingly, it's Cahal who gets the bullet and becomes the first one to be fired from the process. Tara is warned to learn quickly, and told that the only reason she escaped was her youth, and that she had no real guidance. He has much criticism for Niamh too, but they both live to fight another day.
AFTER THE FIRING: THE VERDICT
Bill Jackie and Brian discuss the decision. Bill says it was a tough one, but due to his lack of decisions and total non-sales, Cahal had to go. Jackie mentions that Niamh is lucky to still be here, and Bill agrees. "Very lucky", he says. "Toss of a coin."
THE FIRED CANDIDATE: CLOSING MONOLOGUE
Cahal: "It all went wrong when I was shoehorned, for want of a better word, into the task manager role. Certainly none of the guys wanted it and I think the reasons for that are blatantly obvious. To be the first guy ever to lead a female team into defeat in the first task: I'm absolutely gutted."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)